Thursday, April 2, 2009

What Type Of Family Values Do We Want?

I saw this article in the newspaper one week ago. Anyone disagree with the headline? As for me, I fully agreed with what Dr.M.A.Nair said. I salute Dr. Nair 's wisdom.

Have we ever come across any kids who leave their parents because they are poor? So far, I have haven't come across any incident like this!

I have come across many incidences where parents are just focusing on providing the " material love" to their children, and eventually their children are not close to them ( their children just provide the financial aids to them ) when they retired. Now, they are complaining that :

1. They are very lonely after their retirement and no one to talk to

2. They don't have chance to meet with their grandchildren. According to them their children were too busy with their work and do not have time to bring their grandchildren to see them!

They are extremely unhappy over what they considered as "un-grateful" act of their children! Some even said that if they know their children will be so un-grateful, they would ask their spouse to abort it! I was stunned when I heard that!

However, this is what their children said: "What our parents want? We have already given them the money, what they want some more? With the money, they can go and buy whatever they want! They really don't understand us! We are very busy and not like them - "pensioners". They don't need to work, but we need to work and survive! Previously, when we were young, we also hardly see their face! When we wake up inthe morning, they had already gone to work. When we go to sleep at night, they still hadn't come back. We seldom have chance to talk to them! Whenever we encountered problem and need they advice, they are not there to help us also!!!" Based on what their children said, we can see that their children want their parents concern, attention and love when they were young, but their parents were just too busy with their work. This has cast a deep impression into their mind till they are adults now!!!

Now, what went wrong? The parents are looking for "Heart" love from their children. Whereas the children were thinking that providing "material love" to them are more than sufficient!

Parents, beware!!! It seems that our life will "reverse" back to the young age when we grow old. It would be too late and too painful for us to discover that we did not provide the right thing right to the children i.e "Parental Love" and NOT "Material Love"! when they were young.

We have to ask oursleves : What type of family life do you want when you grow old? With lots and lots of material gains and no family love and bonding? Or with moderate material gains and have plenty of family love and bonding?! The decision is in our hands!

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