Sunday, April 5, 2009

A "Simply Delegate" Mindset

This is another "interesting but sad " story which was published in the newspaper lately.

I sympathize with all the busy parents who do not have time to be with their children.

I fully agreed with what the writer Peter Chong said, that is : "Maid may be good in doing household chores but it is not her duty to bring up your children. ....."

A few good and critical questions for us to reflect :

1. Do you want to see how your children grow up?
2. Do you want to play a part to help your children to grow up?
3. What would be the conseqeunces if you "delegate" your parental duties and responsibilities to the maid?
4. If you were to "delegate" all your parental duties and responsibilities to your maid, can you expect your children to be close or respect or love you?
5. How would you feel if your children were to call your maid "Mum or Dad" and call you "Aunty or Uncle"?

I am particularly concerned over the first sentence of paragraph 5, i.e " The young girl always had her way and the maid had no power to stop her". Personally, I have seen and heard many young children telling their maids that they are not their parents, they don't have the right to control them!!! Maybe their parents have told their beloved children before that their maids have no authority or right to control them. Should we leave it to the children to grow up themselves without giving them proper guidance in life?
Nowaday, many parents hope that their children would be a professional like doctor, engineer, accountant or..... one day . However, how many parents really spend some quality time to help their children to achieve the goals?
One of our family friends told me this story before. He said he was asking his young daughter what she wants to be a few days ago? He was expecting his daughter to give him a reply she wants to be at least a Teacher. However, he said he was extremely disappointed when his daughter told him she wants to be a maid one day. He asked her why, she replied, "Aunty said to be a maid is better, no need to go to work outside. It is an easy job and also can sleep in the afternoon when Papa and Mama not around! Hahaha.......... . An innocent mind that has been influenced by the maid. Do you want your child's innocent mind to be influenced by your maid?
Please do not get me wrong that I am looking down upon the maid's career. I respect the maid's job ( a job not many of us would want to do! ). I also understand that not everyone can be a doctor, engineer, teacher or....... . What I am trying to highlight is that if we hope to see our child to be a professional one day, we can't "delegate" our duties and responsibilities to our maid!
Another story was about Kelvin, one of my ex-colleague, he told me he was extremely sad when he came back from his overseas assignment one morning and his son, a toddler told his maid that "uncle" is back. As he is a Regional Sales Manager, his job requires him to travel frequently around the region. Most of the time, he is not around in the house. Well, what can I say to him? I only can sympathize him as he is a man who won't listen to advice!
Last but not least, I would like to invite all parents to ponder over the above critical questions and come out with a plan on what you and your spouse should do next!

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