Saturday, May 30, 2009

"Living With Problem" Mindset!

"He didn't even leave me a parting word!"

This was what my aunty told me when we attended her husband funeral. Based on what I know, my aunty was having "cold war" with her husband for the past few years. They did not speak to each other for many years. According to her, she suspected her husband was having an affair with another woman. However, she didn't have the evidence to prove his misbehavior. She just continue to keep on to have "cold war" with her husband. She just hope her husband will take the initiative to talk to her.

Human beings are funny. When they have the opportunity to communicate or clarify doubts with each other, they just refused to do so because of "ego". When the opportunity has passed, they then regretted for not doing so.

I have come across many couples when they have problem, they initiated the "cold war". They just don't want to solve their problem with their spouse face to face. They would talk about their problem with their brothers, sisters ( but not their parents as they are afraid that their parents would scold them! )and good friends. Their behavior are like some "politicians" who are seeking for sympathy votes. They just feel happy when someone is listening to them or on their side.

Well, I do believe problems are everywhere! If we don't have problem, then, we are not living in the human world! We can't avoid or find ways to escape from our problem. We need to solve our problem. Well, solving problem need a cool and calm mind. If our mind is not cool and calm, and or we are emotionally disturbed, we can't see the problem in its true sense. If we can't see our problem in its true sense, how are we going to make a sound decision to solve our problem?

Just take an example of my aunty, if my aunty can cool down and calm down her mind, I believe she can resolve her problem with her husband. She doesn't need to cry and regret after he has gone!

I strongly believe in the saying : "Better Solve it Than Never"! We can't be living or married with our problem for life! Problem has a multiplying effect, the longer you live with it, the more problems it will create for you! Just take an example : If we are having family problem, we won't be able to concentrate on our work, if we can't concentrate on our work, our work performance will be affected. If our work performance is affected, our employment will be at stake. If our employment is at stake, our income will be seriously affected ............... .

In short, we should not not live with our problem. We have to manage and solve our problem. If we don't solve our problem, our problem will strangle us till death!

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