"Living With Problem" Mindset!

"He didn't even leave me a parting word!"

This was what my aunty told me when we attended her husband funeral. Based on what I know, my aunty was having "cold war" with her husband for the past few years. They did not speak to each other for many years. According to her, she suspected her husband was having an affair with another woman. However, she didn't have the evidence to prove his misbehavior. She just continue to keep on to have "cold war" with her husband. She just hope her husband will take the initiative to talk to her.

Human beings are funny. When they have the opportunity to communicate or clarify doubts with each other, they just refused to do so because of "ego". When the opportunity has passed, they then regretted for not doing so.

I have come across many couples when they have problem, they initiated the "cold war". They just don't want to solve their problem with their spouse face to face. They would talk about their problem with their brothers, sisters ( but not their parents as they are afraid that their parents would scold them! )and good friends. Their behavior are like some "politicians" who are seeking for sympathy votes. They just feel happy when someone is listening to them or on their side.

Well, I do believe problems are everywhere! If we don't have problem, then, we are not living in the human world! We can't avoid or find ways to escape from our problem. We need to solve our problem. Well, solving problem need a cool and calm mind. If our mind is not cool and calm, and or we are emotionally disturbed, we can't see the problem in its true sense. If we can't see our problem in its true sense, how are we going to make a sound decision to solve our problem?

Just take an example of my aunty, if my aunty can cool down and calm down her mind, I believe she can resolve her problem with her husband. She doesn't need to cry and regret after he has gone!

I strongly believe in the saying : "Better Solve it Than Never"! We can't be living or married with our problem for life! Problem has a multiplying effect, the longer you live with it, the more problems it will create for you! Just take an example : If we are having family problem, we won't be able to concentrate on our work, if we can't concentrate on our work, our work performance will be affected. If our work performance is affected, our employment will be at stake. If our employment is at stake, our income will be seriously affected ............... .

In short, we should not not live with our problem. We have to manage and solve our problem. If we don't solve our problem, our problem will strangle us till death!

Be "MIND-FULL" Mindset

" Didn't you know you are driving? Why can't you park your car at a safe place before you pick up your call? ". These are the exact words use by my friend to scold his son when he met with an accident recently.

Many of us do not know what we are doing most of the time. Most of the time, our thoughts, our feeling, our emotion and or our perception are managing us! A simple real life example are : How many of us are aware that we are in the "angry" mode when someone aggitated us? How many of us are aware that our legs are moving forward when we are walking? How many of us are aware that our hand is putting the food into our mouth during meal time? etc...... . Well, I don't mean to say that we are not aware of what we are doing all the time, what I am trying to say is "MOST OF THE TIME"!

When a businessman is in the market, how many of them are aware that they are engaging the techniques use in the "killing field" to fight for survival and the market share? I believe in the mind of all these businessman, "kill the competitors" is their main objective! How many politicians are aware that they must still in the business of helping the people to live a better and more meaningful life after they have won in the election?

Our mind is just like a monkey, it jumps from one thought to another within a split of a second! Just take the example of my friend's son, he may want to focus on driving safely on the road, however, when his handphone rang, he got excited and or panic that it might be an urgent call from his superior or an important customer, immediately the word safety disappeared from his mind and he picked up the call! Same goes to some "corrupted" politicians, their initial intentions when standing for Election was to help the people, however, when there are too many "attractive offers" seducing(?!) them and if they are not mindful, they will be deviated from their initial intentions and be dragged into a "suffering" state.

Be mindful of what we are doing or we intend to do! If we are mindful, our mind will be very focus! If our mind is focus, it would be like a sharp laser beam , we can then achieve our goals without much problems! Just take a simple example, if a heavy smoker intends to quit smoking, I believe he can't just quit it immediately. I have seen many heavy smokers failed in their attempt to quit his smoking habits with this type of "Quit On The Spot" method! I believe the best method for the heavy smokers who intend to quit the habit is to learn the process of how to watch their thoughts! If they are aware of the thought of "Go For It" is coming their way, I believe they will have more than a way to stop it from happening! It is just like if we are aware that a thief is loitering around our house, don't you agree with me that you will definitely lock your doors and windows proper to ensure that the thief can't enter your house!

I believe if all of us were to watch our thoughts and mindful in whatever we are doing, the world would be a better place for us to stay!

A " Blaming " Mindset

When I was trimming my bouganvilla tree (it was just a small pot of plant and now it has become a small tree now!) yesterday evening, my neighbour came over to chit chat with me. She told me that it is not good to plant any plants with sharp thorns in the house compound. According to her, the sharp thorns of the plants will "hurt" the health of the people in the house and luck will not enter our house! I was stunned and at the same time amazed with what she said.

This is one of the typical problems of mankind! Whenever they are facing any problem, the very first thing they do is to find a scapegoat, i.e who to blame for?! We, human being is the one who has created umpteem problem for ourselves, however, we never realise that we are the culprit. Instead we put the blame on the Sun, the Moon, the Stars, the Divine Being, the Animals, the Plants, the Mountain, the Sky, the Sea, the Wind, the Rain etc............ for whatever problem we have created! Just look at these few examples : For Swine Flu, they blame the Pig, for Mad Cow Disease, they blame the Cow, for Bird Flu, they blame the Chicken, for Dengue Fever, they blame the Mosquito, for Rabies, they blame the Dog, for Plague, they blame the Rats, etc.......... . However, human being will never blame themselves for not keeping their environment and surrounding clean.

Well, for this good neighbor of mine, she is a big "investor ( according to her, she is investing(?!) in the lucky number she bet!)" in the gaming industry. She can spend a large amount of money just to bet on one lucky number! However, she is very stingy in terms of donation to the charitable organizations. She is a superstitious woman. Whenever she did not strike any lottery, she will start to look at the arrangement of her plants in her garden and the arrangement of the furnitures inside her house. She and her husband even go to the extend of asking her dogs to pick lucky numbers for them. She and her husband also travelled extensively around the Region to seek blessings from whoever that can give her the "lucky" number! She can spend thousand of dollars to buy a small piece of stone just because someone told her the stone can bring her good luck. She is a strong believer in LUCK! What a pity to this innocent lady!

I am not underestimating the power of cosmic energy and meta physics. I do believe in them to certain extend. However, I have a much stronger believe in the Laws Of Action (Cause) and Reaction (Effect). Personally, I had spoken to some Feng Shui Masters before, according to them, they can help you to arrange your house, your office table and chair, your safe deposit box etc to face a good feng shui direction, however, if you do not have accumulated good merits you will not be able to receive all its benefits. I do not know how far it is true!

My personal opinion is that we should focus more on accumulating good merits rather than to seek blessings from someone and or objects like a tree, a piece of stone .... . I believe all of us is aware of this saying, what goes around comes around. When you do good, good thing will follow you wherever you go!

Do you agree with me?

The " I Know I Know " Mindset

" I know I know ".

Have you ever come accross anyone where before you could finish your sentence, he or she will tell you "I know I know"? Well, what will be your normal reaction towards this type of people? Will you continue with what you are going to say or will you just stop saying what you want to say?

Recently, I came across two incidences where the " I know I know" type of person have creating problem for themselves.

Incident 1

A friend of mine invited his client for lunch at a well known restaurant recently. However, before my friend could finish his sentence, his client told him "I know, I know " I know the restaurant very well and I will be there on time. Assuming his client knew where the restaurant is, my friend did not further elaborate on the location of the restaurant. My friend went there on time to wait for him. However, after an hour of waiting for him, he still did not not turn up for the appointment. My friend sensed that something had gone wrong and he gave him a call to check where about was he? When his client picked up his call, he was a bit annoyed and told my friend that he was waiting for him at the restaurant. My friend told him he was at the restaurant too and he couldn't see him. Eventually, they found out that they were at the same restaurant but different location! Both of them have a good laugh and have to re-arrange their appointment to another day.

Incident 2

A Production Manager told his Supervisor that Sales Department has requested for a specified product to be delivered to the customers in three weeks time. The Supervisor told the Production Manager, "I know, I know " I know what is the product the Sales Department required and will get ready on time. Thinking that the Supervisor knew what he was supposed to produce, the Production Manager left the production floor and went back to his room. On the second week, the Production Manager went to check with the Supervisor to see whether the product could be produced on time. His anger arose when he saw what they were making is different from the requisition. What was requested by the Sales Dept. was the same product but of different color. The Supervisor argued with the Production Manager that normally during these period of time, the customers will be requesting the color he was making. The Supervisor was not aware that the color trend has changed this year. A costly mistake made by both the Production Manager and the Supervisor!

The moral of the above two true stories are : We must be humble at all time and do not assume what other people want from us is what we are thinking of! ASSUMPTION kills us at time! And, it is always good to paraphrase to ensure clear communication.

A " Selfish " Mindset

This morning I saw a car parking in the middle of the road. When I take a look at the windscreen of the car ( I thought the driver has been given a special pass by the Traffic Police or the Road Transport Department to park the car in the middle of the road ), I didn't see any special permit on the windscreen. What I can see is just the car's road tax certificate and some religious stickers on the windscreen. From what I understand, although we had already paid the road tax, we are still not allowed to violate the traffic rules or park our car in the middle of the road. I do not know how the driver passed his driving test. Another question in my mind is : If the government did not give the driver the permission, with the religious stickers paste on the windscreen, does it mean the Divine Being allow the driver to violate the traffic rules or park his car in the middle of the road?!



I came across many road accidents where I saw religious stickers or statues of the drivers' religious teachers on the windscreen of their cars. I believe these drivers may think that the Divine Being is with them all the times and why worry? I believe this is not a good thought! What assurance can we get from the Divine Being that he will take care of our safety if we don't obey the traffic rules?



I believe many of us will have heard of this saying before, " GOD helps those who help themselves ". If you do not help yourself, do you expect GOD to help you? For the Atheists, I believe their belief is that they are the one who should responsible for what they have done! No matter what we believe or what we say, we need to play our part to protect our own safety rather than to leave the responsibility to the Divine Being! Just take an example, what guarantee can we get from the Divine Being that he will take care of our house if go for a long holiday and have forgotten to lock our house before we leave for the holiday?

If we are planning to go to a place where it is difficult to find a car park, we should start our journey earlier. We should not take the risks of endangering our life or others' life by parking our car in the middle of the road. To all the drivers, please be considerate, understanding and be safety conscious. No one can stop you from taking your own life away, however, please be kind enough as not to endanger the valuable life of others!

Leaders Must Have "Stay Focus" Mindset!

" I am for the people! "

This statement is a heart touching statement! It would be good if the statement is really sincerely comes from the heart of the elected leaders. However, it is so unfortunate to see that the there are also many leaders whom are fighting for themselves or their party instead of the people who elected them.

They have forgotten that they are elected by the people. However, they are not for the people. Before they are elected, they are propagating the virtue of " By the people, for the people". Once they are elected, they are for themselves and or for their party and no more for the people!

They are aware what are the challenges the people are facing? However, they are so power craze that everyday they are fighting for power! They do not care what their people are facing, it is like non of their business! People under their constituent are facing umpteen problem everyday, they do not have time to help the people to solve their problem. They only have time to fight for themselves and their party.

They are busy, busy and busy everyday. However, their " busy-ness " are not for their people.

I appeal to all the leaders to reflect on what they are doing. Just reflect on the below :

1. Am I doing what the people is expecting me to do?

2. Have I deviated from the main objectives?

3. Am I giving excuses for myself to deviate from my main objectives?

Do not let the " confused or uncleared" mindset to destroy our way of thinking or made ourselves lost our direction.

When Should We Develop "Teambuilding" Mindset?

Teambuilding program seems to be a training program which can not be neglected nowaday. It could be due to the economics downtown that many organizations are engaging in the process of downsizing. With the downsizing exercise, the headcount in the organiztion will thus be reduced accordingly. Now, with less employees, the remaining "survivors" in the organization have to do more work and they must seriously work as a "TEAM" in order to accomplish their tasks on time.




Can team become effective just by undergoing a few days of training? Can human mind really work together for long? What are things that can make people work together for long? Maybe the teambuilding experts have the answer.



I have seen many organizations keep highlighting to the employees that they must work together to achieve their organization objectives. Some organizations even hang posters with the motto of " ONE TEAM, ONE VISION, ONE FUTURE " everywhere within their organization's premises. However, the efforts is only for the purpose of launching the management progam. After the launching, the motto will be completely forgotten. I am not saying that teambuilding program is totally ineffective. However, they are many factors to consider before one could develop a more effective teambuilding program.



As the saying goes, " Charity begins at home", I have the same belief that the development of teambuilding mindset should always begins at home. Parents should promote "teambuilding" among all their children when they are young. Parents should emphasize to the children that if they work together, they can achieve more. Parents should not promote or encourage "individualism" within the family. If we were to inculcate the concept of teambuilding in the young children minds, I believe the results would be more effective when these young ones becomes adults and join the society.



Agree? Disagree? Please share your views? Thank you in advance.

Life Is Valuable! Don't Waste It!

Tan Geek Koon is fitted with a “mechanical heart” and she has to lug around a 9kg portable battery if she wants to move about. However, this won’t weigh down on the 41-year-old former air stewardess who left the hospital on Friday to be with her children this Mother’s Day. Full stories, refer The Star.

I really do not understand why she has to suffer this type of condition? Fariness on earth??? Where??? Anyway, the most important thing now is to wish Mdm Tan will receive a healthy heart soon. May the highest blessings to be with you always, Mdm Tan Geek Koon.

Honestly, I am extremely sad whenever I come across any suicidal case or people with healthy heart committing crime!!! Life is uncertain, death is certain. Why should they waste their life? Mdm Tan hope to lead a normal life and take care of her children, however, she is deprived of the ability. I just hope whoever wants to commit suicide or commit any serious crime, please read the story of Mdm Tan. I just hope Mdm Tan's story will make them realize that their life is valuable and do not waste it! If after they have read the story of Mdm Tan and still insist to commit the crime, please sign a pledge to pledge their organs accordingly to those who is in need of them. With that pledge, at least he or she is doing a meritorious deed at his or her last moment as human beings!

Lastly, may all the god and goddesses grant Mdm Tan their highest blessings so that she is able to receive a healthy heart soon! For those who believe in sharing merits, please share your good merits with Mdm Tan, may Mdm Tan receive a healthy heart soon.

The "100 Days Of Action" Mindset

The first 100 days in office seems to be an important day for us to measure the performance of a Statesman or a Leader!

How should we measure the performance of a Statesman within a period of 100 days? What are the key perfomance indicators (KPIs') we are going to set to measure the performance of the Statesman? How and who should set the KPIs' together with the Statesman? Are the KPIs' accepted by the people and the Opposition party? Who should review the performance of the Statesman?

In my opinion, the critical challenges the Statesman will have to face are :

1. how to lead and manage the country so that the people can live in peace, harmony and with a healthy and wealthy life.

2. how to convince the Opposition party to adopt his "FORWARD" plan

3. how to clear the "backlogged challenges" of his predecessor

4. how to enhance the cultural aspects of the country

From what I understand, some large business organizations take about a month or two to prepare and finalise their business plan and budget (BPB). If a large organization needs to take one or two months to prepare and finalize the BPB, how much time will the statesman take to prepare, finalise and obtain approval for his "Forward" plan for his country? Moreover, I believe he also has to tackle the immediate challenges and issues as leave behind by his predecessor. If the statesman takes about a month(?!) to prepare his "Forward" plan, what should be the appropriate timeline for him to execute his plan to get the results? I do not believe he can get the results just immediately after he has implemented his plan! There will definitely be some hiccups along the way. The next important thing for the Statesman is making decision! The decision making process in a business organization is much simpler as compare to making a decision for a country's future.

I have heard of so many people criticizing the statesman actions. I am wondering, if we were to elect them as the statesman for their country, can they do a better job?

I believe we have to be sensible and logical towards this matter. If we are not in the Statesman's position, we do not know the full story of :

1. what had happened?

2. what had been done?

3. what results had been achieved?

4. what should be done next?

I believe it is easy to say than done. If we do not know all the details, it is unfair for us to start our criticizing and or insulting process!

I understand that Time is the essence for the statesman, however, I believe we must also be fair to provide a reasonable timeline for the statesman to perform!

The above is just my shallow view. Please share your valuable views. Thanking you in advance.

What Type Of Mindset Is This?

I received this photograph from a friend recently. When I read the wordings in the photo, I was confused. I really do not know who the writer was scolding at? The toddler or the pig? I believe most of the readers will be scolding me this, " Definitely the writer is scolding the pig, Stupid!".

Well, who is the one that is killing us? The pig, the toddler or the virus?

I believe this is not the time for us to scold the whoever that is spreading the flu! Honestly, if the flu is really from the pig, do you think the pig did that intentionally? As all of us are aware, human mind is more developed and intelligent than an animal mind, things that the animals can't do, we human can do. Why can't we human do something to help our fellow mankind and the animals rather than to engage on the non value added process of scolding or releasing our anger towards the innocent animals?!`

Please please, please do not waste our valuable time to engage in the non value added activities. Moreover, getting angry can't help us saves our life! It can only help us to get more sickness such as hyperstension, stroke, heart attack, diabetes etc.. .

I believe all of us must play our part to save ourselves and the world. Look at the areas which we can help prevent the flu from spreading, look at our living condition, look at our lifetyle etc.. . If we are doing that, we are not only doing good for ourselves, we are also doing a meritorious deed to help other beings and animals to live in a hygienic environment!

The "Cure First Prevent Later" Mindset

Where does the " Swine Flu "come from? The Pig? The Human?????? I believe this is an interesting question most of us would like to know the answer!

It is very common to see that whenever there is a flu outbreak, the first thing human being will do is to find a scapegoat. The most common scapegoats are the pig, the cow, the chicken , the rat, the cockroaches, the bacteria, the virus etc etc... . However, have we ever look at ourselves? What have we done to prevent the epidermic from happening? I believe some of us will say we can't do anything to stop all these happening. If we human being can't stop it from happening, can the pig, the cow and the rest of the insects or animals stop all these unwanted happenings? I believe human being will have the answer!

If our house are infected with cockroaches, termites, rats, snakes etc, is it the fault of the insects or the animals? Can the insects or small animals realize that what they have done were wrong? Can we take the preventive actions by keeping our house clean and hygienic so that all these insects or small animals do not have a slightest chance to "attack" our house?!

I came across a situation where hundreds of pigs were being culled during the outbreak of "pig flu" in our country many years back! I pity the pigs. I believe the pigs are also the victim in this circumstances. Firstly, the pigs were also a victim of the flu, secondly, they are being accused of spreading the flu to human being. I really hope to know who spreads the flu to the pigs?

I believe all of us are aware that "Prevention is better than Cure". However, what have we done? Have we taken any steps or preventive actions to keep clean and promote hygiene of our environment? What I can see is that most of us are sticking to the view that we can't do anything until and unless the problem arises.

It is really disheartening to see that mankind are busy developing medicine to delay human ageing, medicine to enhance male sexual performance, medicine to enhance beauty and sexiness of the ladies etc... but are unable to establish preventive actions to stop the unwanted happenings! Instead of focusing our attention on things that are just satisfying our sexual and sensual pleasure, I belive we should focus our attention on more meaningful things that can enhance the health and safety aspects of mankind.

Any sharing from anyone?

How Should We Celebrate Mother's Day?

Many people celebrate Mother's Day. I am wondering why should we just pick one day in a year i.e less than 1% of a year to celebrate mother's day? Is this the right thing for us to do? For all those who are a mother, I believe you will have the answer of whether is this what you want from your children? I believe all the mothers will have the same answer! Please do not get me wrong that I am discouraging anyone to celebrate Mother's Day. I am just having the question of why can't we make our mother happy everyday rather than just one day in year.


As for me, although my mother is not physically with me anymore, her spirit and her guidance are with me everyday. I am confident that if I do good, avoid evils, purify my thoughts daily, my mother will be very happy. In fact, my mother did tell me before that, if all her children were to grow up with good discipline, good career and lead a happy married or non-married ( my mother is an open person and do not force all of us to get married! ) life, she will be more than happy. She can then leave the world happily without any regrets. This is the only request from her and the only thing that will make her happy!

To my beloved Mum, if your consciousness is still around with us, may I wish you well and happy always. We are very proud of you and we will continue to practise what you have guided us.

To all the readers of this post, please do spend more time with your parents. They will not be us forever. They have brought us to this beautiful world and provided us with food, shelter and proper guidance, we should be thankful to them and must try our best to make them happy everyday. I believe we should not just make them happy only on one specific day!